Diary of a Discount Shopper: New House, Car Wreck, and Cart Wreck


If you know me very well at all, you know that I AM Murphy.  Over the years I’ve learned that I should never get too excited about anything, because all of the ups and downs were completely wearing me out. I’m more of a ‘roll with the flow’ kinda gal (although my husband may tell you otherwise).

We finally closed on our house this week.  It’s been 13 years of looking (sometimes off and on, sometimes non-stop). It’s really hard to find something for sale in our district, and there’s not a neighboring district we are willing to transfer to or a central location that would work for our commutes.  We’ve been close to closing a handful of times, but something always happens.  Two were completely destroyed by a tornado while under contract.  Not kidding.

We love the place because of it’s charm and character.  The original portion of the1882 home is built into the 2003 home- so we’ve got a taste of old and new!

I’m not one to get nervous, but I was absolutely sick on closing day.  We’ve always paid full cash for everything, as was our intention on a home.  We weren’t quite able to do this with this one, we had hoped for another year to save.  I’m not sure if I was more worried about closing not going through or having to deal with a payment.  I don’t like to be tied down!

Closing went off with out a hitch, (well, we had a few on Monday night- very stressful, but self correcting) so we’re now homeowners (well, sorta dual homeowners now) That was Tuesday afternoon.  The plan was for me to go over first thing on Wednesday and start cleaning so we can get everything moved over the weekend- and no, I’m not packed yet.

Yesterday morning, I made the mistake of checking my email before I left.  I’ve been waiting all season on deals on two things- Loving Family Dollhouse gear and Polly Pockets.  Both were on sale at Toys R Us, online and in-store from 7:00 a.m. to midnight.  I am not a fan of TRU.com, so I decided to head to the store (only 60 miles away).  I threw the kids in the car to drop them off at school on the way.

It was pretty cold, the back glass was iced over.  My window was frozen up.  No biggie- I’ve navigated this stupid driveway for 13 years.  I knew I felt ‘off’ as I backed up, but didn’t bother to try to correct it.  You know, that nagging voice in your head that you refuse to listen to?  Mine told me to look- I told it to shut up and kept backing up.

Then I hear a BAM quickly followed by a string of obscenities from my mouth.  I jump out the door to see what I’ve hit- and lo and behold, it’s a freaking tree.  The same tree I’ve successfully backed around for 13 years.  Stuck in the bumper of my beautiful car.  My new to me ‘dream’ car that I bought in March now has a hole in the bumper. 

I’m a little peeved, but I’ve got places to go and things to do.  I was expecting much worse to happen, so this wasn’t too bad.  That’s the joy of being pessimistic.  I’m never let down- just constantly pleasantly surprised.

So I headed to Toys R Us to greet the holiday shopping crowd.  (Have you seen the biggest mistake I’ve made yet?)

There wasn’t a soul there when I got there- nor was there a selection of Loving Family stuff.  The very kind employee told me that they only get two rooms at a time, and they are always the same two.  I was able to get a TON of outdoor furniture and playsets for $60 that would have cost over $500 on Amazon.

After I got through with my in-depth analysis of Loving Family items, I decided to walk through the store.  I must have been tucked in that corner for too long.  As I stepped back out into the aisle, I was greeted with an onslaught of shoppers that could only be compared to a mosh pit at the Shrine Mosque (remember the old Dare to Care concerts? wink, wink)  It was alright, I’m okay with crowds.  The SHE cut me off.  We’ll call her “Short lady with black North Face that never quite figured out to hold her cell phone and walk”.

I like to think of shopping cart maneuvering as driving.  Those coming to an intersection should stop, you should stay on the right side of the aisle, etc.  Well, “Short lady with black North Face that never quite figured out to hold her cell phone and walk” didn’t get the memo. 

As I walked down the main aisles, she repeatedly came out of a side aisle and cut me off.  She never even paused as I came to a screetching halt.  I honestly don’t think she knew that she should look both ways before crossing traffic.  Being the laid back person I am, I let it go and loudly said ‘excuse me’.. 19 times.  Nope- not kidding, I counted.  Kind of like an OCD road rage preparation.  My ‘excuse me’ was met with an offhand glance- like she had no idea why I said that.

I finally finished my shopping and rounded the last corner before the checkout came into view- and here she comes for #20.  I was ready for her.  I sped up just kept on walking and prepared for impact.  I locked my knees and got a good grip on my cart.  Ironically, I heard the same BAM  and quiet string of obscenities that I had heard an hour before when my car hung on the tree.  I was expecting a small jolt, but this might have given me whiplash.  She flew backwards and landed on her rear due to the impact.  Amazingly, she never missed a second of her conversation, popped back up like a Terminator and kept going.

It was definitely not my fault, as I was merely a stationary object that had the right of way.

The moral of today’s (extremely long, rambling) story?  Don’t cut me off! 


  1. says

    LOL…..I can just see you doing that Alicia! Sorry for all your problems of the day – it must have been the adrenalin rush from getting the house that got your equilibrium out of whack. Yeah, we’ll say that…that was it, equilibrium off balance. LOL *wink*


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